Thursday, 2 June 2011

Top 10 Things That Lower Your Sex Drive

What makes a sizzling hot relationship go ice-cold?
No matter how good it gets, there just comes a time when the idea of sex will seem like a chore and the idea of “performance” will loom over your head like a responsibility rather than a period of wild abandon. 

“Think about it, when you first enter a room, you become aware of the noise in the background. But the longer you stay in the room, the more you will become accustomed to it and no longer hear it. It is the body’s natural response to repeated stimuli,” says Dr. Wei, explaining why it is very hard to sustain the buzz in someone’s sex life.

1. The worry and anxiety of “newness”
A woman could also be worried about getting pregnant, for example, Even if she is on the pill, she may be worried that something falling through the cracks or contracting an STD. To keep worries and anxieties from getting in the way, use condoms aside from the Pill for double protection.

2. Age
Yes, this is a factor for both men and women.
According to, men with intact testicles produce testosterone throughout life, but in declining amounts as they age. 
Men also enter a stage called "andropause" once they start crossing over to 40. Every year after 40, a man's body produces about 1 per cent less testosterone. The reduction in testosterone reduces sperm production, muscle growth, and memory skills as well as sex drive.
When a woman starts going into the pre- or post-menopausal stage, the body stops making more than a minimal amount of estrogen, making the vagina dry and intercourse uncomfortable or painful. Other surgical procedures like hysterectomy and oophorectomy (removal of the ovaries) further reduce hormone production. 

3. (Over) Weight
How you tip the scales is another biological factor that affects both women and women. But according to, overweight men get a hormonal double whammy by virtue of the fact that fat cells produce estrogen, further reducing sex drive, and reducing one of the most powerful incentives to lose weight.
In a research study that was conducted, results showed that obese people were 25 times as likely to report dissatisfaction with sex as the normal-weight people.
If this is a problem area for you, like the promise of a better and more enjoyable sex life be your motivation to get on that treadmill.

4. Body Image
On a similar note, insecurity or poor body image can also make your sex drive take a nose dive. This doesn’t always have to do with weight. Some people who are on the chubby side may be very comfortable in their own skin while the skinniest of people may have a heightened ability to see all their flaws and highlight them.
The key is being confident despite the love handles and the slightly protruding belly. That – more than what you actually look like naked – is the real turn on.

5. Pain
For some women, intercourse can be painful and well, pain in most forms is not something that will excite you to shimmy out of your clothes to do the horizontal mambo.
This is because some women are not lubricated enough when penetration takes place, making sex more painful than pleasurable.
Open up to your partner and show him what your body likes and how it responds to certain stimuli. A lot of women are afraid of initiating this version of “the talk” with their male partners because he will think that she is becoming “demanding” in the bedroom.
Start by re-thinking old paradigms or self—imposed inhibitions. Pleasure and satisfaction are a right, rather than a privilege.

6. Stress
When you’re thinking of the many other gazillion things you could be doing instead of having sex (getting a massage, that overdue manicure-pedicure or just sleeping), you know you’re not completely there and you’re not going to enjoy it.
Concentrate and focus on the fact that the only thing on your “to-do” list is your partner. 

 7. He can’t get it up
No brainer, right? If he can’t get it up then there isn’t going to be any sex going on. You’re likely to feel “blue-balled,” frustrated, and a tad bit insulted.
If you’re a lot like other women, you’re going to take his inability to stand at attention as a personal affront to your inner goddess who can make a man to him knees at the drop of her panties -- which could fuel your own insecurities about bedroom prowess.
Know the reasons behind what causes behind erectile dysfunction so you’ll know that it really isn’t you.

8. Environment
Don’t underestimate the impact your environment has on getting all hot and heavy.
If one of you is concerned about a roommate or sibling being in the other room or for couples who have children, if you’re concerned about waking up a baby you just spent the last hour or so putting to sleep, then you’re likely going to be on edge and  not likely going to enjoy sex.
An uncomfortable environment is different from a risky one that gives you an adrenaline rush so find that area with just enough privacy and seclusion. 

9. Time of the  month
Just as PMS is likely to make your inner she-devil shine through, the rhythm of your menstruation will affect your sensitivity or level of lubrication. “The amount and consistency of discharge changes depending on ovulation,” explains Dr. Wei who says that this affects sex drive.
The bloated heavy feeling that you feel when you have your period may not help. Sometimes, the best thing to do is just wait it out until the red tide subsides.

10. Relationship woes
Any good relationship goes through bumps along the road; it's never ever smooth sailing all throughout, despite periods of calm.
After the physical and psychological parts are ruled out, you might want to give the emotional connection part a check to see if the lack of interest in sex is just an indicator of other more serious things that are wrong with the relationship.

There are many reasons why sex becomes such a chore and we would rather not do it.  If the thought of getting naked fills you with dread rather than desire, think about what’s causing your libido level to dip.


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